Wow

As I was studying, a thought attacked me so hard that it made me realize that my life is not about myself. It is never about myself.

Life is about someone else's life. Then, will life be lively. As a muslim, we carry out ibadah and that ibadah is dedicated to Allah SWT, for us to gain Allah's love. We achieve success in life to prove to our parents that we can repay what they went through (well maybe not all of it but at least 1/4 of it insyaAllah). We take care of each other's feelings by not letting their hearts get hurt. We buy things and the money we paid increases one's economy thus making them happy. We would do anything to make our pets happy although they have no idea how much we've spent. We try 'hard' to look pretty and presentable to please other people.

I can give you tons of example on the fact that this life we have is never for ourselves.

Maybe that is what makes life sweet.

The feeling of making other people increase in self development indirectly.

The feeling of having a purpose to strive in this life and the akhirah.

If this life was completely for ourselves, I personally dont think that our parents would carry out their responsibilities as parents. Job as parents are not easy and yes, it is tiring. (no ive never experienced it before). The fact that they know that the life that Allah grant them is not for them, instead it is dedicated to their children in order to gain Allah's pleasure. Once again, THIS life is never for ourselves.

If this life was for ourselves, would Jihad play a role in our lives?

Think about it.

Jealousy and hatred

Everyone goes through this phase, literally. No matter how nice a person can be, this is still a phase that we have to go through. Why, you ask? Because Allah is testing your heart. You heart is the central of everything, besides the brain though. Once the heart is damaged, every part of your body follows. Jealousy and hatred is something that sets a bar of who you really are. It is a bad feeling to have because without it, you'll be in complete solace, surreal solace. Honestly, fighting between good feelings and bad feelings is a true struggle because when the good ones win, you can daringly claim that your life, is perfect. I hate jealousy and hatred. Even expressing that uses the word 'hate' so I am pretty confident that you're telling a white lie if you say you are clean from hatred and jealousy :P

I know I could be vlogging about this, but trust me, the video can get up to one hour. Virtually writing this down would help. One question for you (just because I went through it), do you ever get jealous seeing your friend studying? Do you hate your friend when he/she obtains more marks than you do? Do you ever just get jealous of your friend because he/she has so much more than you do? All of this leads to you saying, "it's be fun if I was her" and "i think life is hopeless, everyone hates me". Whoa whoa, what is up with that (-) energy? Right now, I will try to help you rejuvenate yourself, though I am not sure if that is a suitable word to use :P

First, know your intentions. You study for the sake of Allah, for the sake of wanting more ilm' (knowledge) and for the sake of increasing self development. Know that different people have different methods of studying so dont stress. Sit down, write down the things YOU have to do, have a look at it and carry it out. Whatever other people want to do, let them be because this is all about YOU. Sometimes, you dont have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, just carry your own weight and let the ground carry the weight of others. In your head, dedicate everything to Allah and you'll be as peaceful as the river. When you see other people studying, dont panic, because you dont know what they did in the past or, what they are planning in the future. Maybe you have studied before, she hasnt and maybe you're going to study later, shes not. Always come up with 70 excuses (husnuzzon) before jealousy and hatred pops up. You know your own effort so, leave it all to Allah. If you still feel scared and fearful of what others are doing, then you might have to check back with your faith in Allah SWT. But im sure its a good one. just punch the shaitaan in a bit and you will be fine!

To calm your heart further, it shouldnt harm to tell your friend words of sweetness, for example,

"I know how much you've struggled. InsyaAllah, you will get what you want in life. Amin!"

or

"InsyaAllah 4.0 flat!"

or

"I know you are going to get it, what matters is the effort and Allah loves those who strive for His sake"

Trust me, when these words are uttered, you'll be the most calm out of everyone. La tahzan, friend.

In terms of other situations like, you get jealous seeing other people who prettier/more handsome than you, an excellent way for you stay away from hatred and jealousy is for you to first, KNOW and BELIEVE that all the beauty of the world comes from Allah SWT and immediately realize that YOU ARE one of the beauty. Second, give them praises, uttered words, good or bad, are dua'. When you praise others, insyaAllah it goes back to you. 

I am sorry for not making this post into detail because I am literally using this free time I have to blog and i miss this. I literally have math class in approximately 7 more minutes and my best friend (nurul diyana) is literally beside me surveying on scholarships for medicine for her degree. So yeah, pray for our success and insyaAllah we'll pray for you as well.

Bye, assalamualaykum!