Salam and hi everyone. Right now, I have never felt more alone. I feel so hollow. Some say that I need professional help. honestly, i dont think i need one. i just dont appreciate the people around me enough for me to feel content. i dont appreciate people enough to see that they do love me. i keep seeking love from one person, and one person only. i let that person define my worth and that was the biggest mistake i could ever do to myself. because i wasnt so used to receiving love from other people, when people pour some of it into me, i start to only see it coming from one person and one person only. where is my self worth? what is wrong with me?
but, i have to realise that everything that is happening is because Allah loves me. a friend said, "Allah uji sebab Allah sayang", and i started crying even more because i dont see things that way. i just think that all the bad and the good comes from me, when actually Allah is the one controlling it all. i have to realise that Allah is saving me from what could be the worst thing in my life. worthlessness. emptiness. be sad because you were ungrateful, instead of being sad because of the situation itself.
i should appreciate some time for myself. maybe, this is exactly what i need (:
