Bismillah!Alhamdulillah, recently, Pusat Asasi Sains Pertanian (PASP) organized an amazing 3 day activity known as War Games for all the students currently taking foundation in science agriculture here in UPM. At first, I had zero driving force to make myself present for the war game as fatigue was overpowering me. Plus, exams are coming up and this would be the worst time to organize any outdoor activity. It felt as if I was a glass full of water and I didnt want even a single drop of water to be filled into my glass. But, this is what Allah ordains for me and therefore, I followed without a single doubt as to doubt him would be the worst thing to do and feel, nauzubillah.
We were divided into two huge groups where half us had to go Tanjung Malim, Perak and Jasin, Melaka. Alhamdulillah, Allah chose to me to be in Tanjung Malim. Nothing much happened when we arrived at the camp site during the day. We had ice breaking at night and it was an interesting way to get to know each other. After midnight, we were surprised with a 3 and a half hour of night walking in the jungle. The jungle of darkness and mystery. That night, that moment was great for me. Why?
Before we left, the ranger who lead us kept reminding to remember Allah and to have faith in Him when we call upon Him. From having the most fear in my heart, I had a smile carved on my face when the ranger said that. One more thing, the ranger also said that Allah SWT is bashful. HOW? He feels bashful and shy when He didnt grant His slaves' calling upon Him but Allah SWT always wants what's best for us. I smiled and went through the whole night walk adventure with full hope and trust to Allah SWT. I love Him and I am hoping that He loves me too. During the night walk, we had to pass through the cold water of the river. As i dip my feet in the water, I felt the coldness creeping into my skin then into my bones. It was extreme. Bravely, I looked around and wondered. O Allah, if the rivers on this earth is already so beautiful and listening to the streams of it brings serenity into my heart, what about the rivers in Your Jannah that You already promised us? That was the ultimate question that played in my mind.
Immediately, I realized that I did not match the criteria of being in Allah's Jannah. *sigh* Tears streamed down my face. My friend thought that I was terrified of the darkness. I was grateful that she took some time to comfort me, Alhamdulillah. And that moment, all I can think of was Allah SWT. He was the light, the light that lights me through the darkness.
During survival night, all 13 groups were merged into one group and then were further divided into three huge groups. We were left to survive by ourselves in the jungle for a night and were supposed to be back at the camp site by dawn. We were not provided with anything. Immediately, we divided tasks such as collecting wood to attain fire, clean the sleeping area and many more. As the night painted through the day, we felt more challenges crept in uninvited. We were hungry, thirsty and sleepy. Honestly, I did not know which situation to prioritize at that moment. Alhamdulillah, a ranger came and gave us a huge bag of raw chicken, turmeric, salt and fried rice. We were so grateful for the fact that food was present for us to consume. To be frank, yes, I am scared of the dark. Sooner or later, I would have to overcome this fear so I decided to help everyone with washing the raw chicken at the river. I was scared, yes. What gave me strength is all of my friends' faces, their faces portrayed hunger and exhaustion. I had to do it, it is not a choice. After washing the chicken, some of the girls marinate the chicken with turmeric and salt and later, the boys handled all the cooking as they were to find bamboo sticks to hang the chicken while waiting for it to cook.
As I looked up the sky that night, MasyaAllah i was mesmerized by the beautiful stars shining and dancing above us. I loved it, it was so wonderful. The stars made me smile and at that instantaneous moment I knew that Allah is telling that is okay through His beautiful stars. Subhanallah.
In a nutshell, I had the time of my life. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. I do not know how much "Alhamdulillahs" I can blurt anymore to express my gratitude to Allah SWT.
A short message : Overcoming one's fear is definitely one of the best achievements one can attain. Why? It is then one realizes that Allah is the only one everyone should be fearful of.
