I've told you know

You know what I mean,
It's like walking in the heat all day,
with no water,
It's like waiting for a friend,
watching everybody else meet theirs,
on that corner,
Or losing in argument,
though you're right,
can't get your thoughts in order,
Still I refrain,
from talking at you, talking on,
You know me well,
I don't explain.
Why the heck,
Why do you think I come around here on my free will?
Wasting all my precious time, oh.
The truth spills out,
Oh, I've told you now.

#1 things that make me happy

Bismillah! Salam everyone :D

I love being happy. Dont you?
No doubt, we love happiness.
May happiness never be far behind us. InsyaAllah.
This might be weird so be prepared.

1. I love coming home to my room mates sleeping

Frankly, my room mates are people who really strive and struggle to achieve the best. I love it when they spend most of their time swallowing and digesting tons and tons of knowledge, it motivates me. But...I fervently think that they deserve some rest. It soothes me seeing them asleep. It makes me happy the fact that Allah has given them the opportunity to lay their head down for a while.

2. When my playlist hits the track "Subhanallah" by Maher Zain and "Rabbibil Mustafa" by Hafiz Hamidun

It literally takes 15 minutes from our college to the foundation centre. Since I am an introvert, I spend most of time listening to music and reading a book. I get so excited when these two tracks start to play, I feel contentment and satisfaction. Alhamdulillah.

3. Sharing food with my room mates

I have never been in a boarding school before so I dont really know the feeling of buying food to share with my room mates. I usually have the food all to myself at home. Trust me, it is a beautiful feeling to walk to the Ramadhan Bazaar, surveying the food that it has to offer and buying them with only one intention, "nak beli banyak sikitlah, nanti boleh buka puasa, makan dengan room mates.". Alhamdulillah.

4. When my mum instantly comes to visit me when she misses me instead of calling me 

Yes, people do label me "budak manja". The thing is, I do not care what they have to say. My mum is close to me and I would like to cherish every moment I have with her. My mum keeps reminding me that she is not getting any younger day by day...My mum also likes to mention the fact that when I'm married, I would not be spending as much time with my mum anymore. My home would be in my husband's home and not my parent's home anymore. When I come to think of it, it is true. In a nutshell, I do not see the harm in being close to my mum when I have the time. I need her, I tell her everything.

5. When the girls ask me how I style my hijab

This makes me want to cry, all the time. Subhanallah. (':
One time, I went back with my classmate but we were not that close. We were in the bus, she started talking to me about aurah. It goes like this :-

Syasya: Sab, aku nak tanya benda boleh?
Me: Oh tanyalah. Apa dia?
Syasya: Macam mana kau jadikan shawl ni labuh? Aku tengok orang lain pakai, jadi pendek juga. Aku try pun jadi pendek juga.
Me: OHHH, senang je, nanti kita tunjuk eh, insyaAllah
Syasya: Sebenarnya, aku dah lama nak tanya kau tapi aku segan takut kau kata apa pula nanti kat aku
Me: Ehhh takdalah! Tanya je kita, kita lagi suka adalah
Syasya: Okok, weekend ni aku nak pergi jalan TAR nak beli wide shawl banyak banyak, senang sikit. Aku nak start lah pakai tutup sikit
Me: Yayyyyy
Syasya: *giggles*

Subhanallah. That is the only thing I can say.
What my best friend, Kamalia said is true. She said,

"As long as you're not going against the shariah, never be ashamed of anything."
I can't seem to forget this, I love you best friend.

#1 Acts of a slave

Salam!

For the past few days, I realized one thing. We, despite the kindness, are quite selfish and only want what's best for us, ourselves. It is true, it is so difficult to commit to one person especially if you just knew them. Committing to one person can also push some our buttons, what about committing to the whole ummah?

The reason why I am writing today is to share this experience I went through a few hours ago. Generally, have you ever been left by a friend? Have you ever felt alone and hopeless without your friend? Well, I experienced that at a place that I have no idea about, at a place I know no one, at a place I am still trying to adapt in. It is so horrifying. What happened was..

It was 6:30 pm in the evening and it was raining. The sky was gloomy and coldness was one of the things that accompanied me. I was ready for my agriculture test tonight and I had the food to break my fast in my hands. I was suppose to go to the foundation centre with a friend. I tried calling her but my prepaid top up was zero. I am at wits end. I didnt know whether to just leave her or wait for her. Frankly, I was planning on leaving her due to the fact that I didnt want to be late for the test. But then, the biggest of guilt overpowered me so I decided to run to the college's hall to obtain free wifi to send her a message through what's app. I asked her where she was because I was waiting for her at the bus stop. She was online and she replied, "I am already at the foundation centre." I was so devastated but things do happen for a reason.

I ran back to the bus stop praying to Allah that there will be a bus at this time. It was 6:45 pm, I was alone, it was dark and raining. I was so scared. Suddenly a bus came, I rode the bus. Unfortunately, the bus driver had to stop me at the next bus station and disappointingly told me that the next bus would at 8:00 pm due to the fact that everyone was getting ready to break their fast. I felt like crying. I did not know what to do.

I thought, if I just stood there, nothing is going to ever happen and I will miss my test tonight. Immediately, I knew that Allah is with me and I can do this. I decided to walk all the way to the foundation centre. It was impossible due to the fact that it was raining and all the main gates were closed. I walked with tears streaming down my face. I knew that this test that Allah grants me is to increase my faith in Him.

As I was walking, I found out that the main gate to the foundation centre was closed. I tried to find another way to the foundation centre and my tears were my only company at that particular moment. I was literally planning on stopping a car to seek assistance. I knew that it was impossible to walk in that distance with the rain. It would a displeasing smell to the people in the exam hall and I would not want that to happen.

Suddenly.....

A sister that I knew passed by me. I was so happy, I screamed her name and stopped her. You might think what I did was rude and maybe even absurd but fear was the only thing that I felt. I was crying so badly and she immediately asked, "Eh Sabreena! Apa awak buat kat sini? Dah nak buka puasa dah." Immediately I replied, "Saya kena tinggal..Akak, boleh tak akak hantar saya kat pusat asasi?" So she said, "mestilah boleh. kesiannya sabreena.."
At that instantaneous moment, all I wanted to do was prostrate to Allah. Subhanallah. I managed to reach the foundation centre on time. Not just that, Allah eased my affair in sitting for my agriculture exam. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. It is true, when we ask, "When is Allah's aid coming to us?" Allah replies, "Indeed my aid is near." Subhanallah.

What did I learn from this?
1. Allah is always there. Always. No matter how "alone" you think you are. Know that you are not, you are never alone
2. Always remember Allah. In both hardship and ease. When we remember Allah in times of ease and happiness, He will definitely remember you in times of hardship
3. Our dependence is always Allah. You will never be sad about anything in this dunya
4. When our intentions are for Allah (seeking knowledge, visiting the sick etc), it is always eased by Allah no matter how much thorns we have to constantly step on