For the past few days, I realized one thing. We, despite the kindness, are quite selfish and only want what's best for us, ourselves. It is true, it is so difficult to commit to one person especially if you just knew them. Committing to one person can also push some our buttons, what about committing to the whole ummah?
The reason why I am writing today is to share this experience I went through a few hours ago. Generally, have you ever been left by a friend? Have you ever felt alone and hopeless without your friend? Well, I experienced that at a place that I have no idea about, at a place I know no one, at a place I am still trying to adapt in. It is so horrifying. What happened was..
It was 6:30 pm in the evening and it was raining. The sky was gloomy and coldness was one of the things that accompanied me. I was ready for my agriculture test tonight and I had the food to break my fast in my hands. I was suppose to go to the foundation centre with a friend. I tried calling her but my prepaid top up was zero. I am at wits end. I didnt know whether to just leave her or wait for her. Frankly, I was planning on leaving her due to the fact that I didnt want to be late for the test. But then, the biggest of guilt overpowered me so I decided to run to the college's hall to obtain free wifi to send her a message through what's app. I asked her where she was because I was waiting for her at the bus stop. She was online and she replied, "I am already at the foundation centre." I was so devastated but things do happen for a reason.
I ran back to the bus stop praying to Allah that there will be a bus at this time. It was 6:45 pm, I was alone, it was dark and raining. I was so scared. Suddenly a bus came, I rode the bus. Unfortunately, the bus driver had to stop me at the next bus station and disappointingly told me that the next bus would at 8:00 pm due to the fact that everyone was getting ready to break their fast. I felt like crying. I did not know what to do.
I thought, if I just stood there, nothing is going to ever happen and I will miss my test tonight. Immediately, I knew that Allah is with me and I can do this. I decided to walk all the way to the foundation centre. It was impossible due to the fact that it was raining and all the main gates were closed. I walked with tears streaming down my face. I knew that this test that Allah grants me is to increase my faith in Him.
As I was walking, I found out that the main gate to the foundation centre was closed. I tried to find another way to the foundation centre and my tears were my only company at that particular moment. I was literally planning on stopping a car to seek assistance. I knew that it was impossible to walk in that distance with the rain. It would a displeasing smell to the people in the exam hall and I would not want that to happen.
Suddenly.....
Suddenly.....
A sister that I knew passed by me. I was so happy, I screamed her name and stopped her. You might think what I did was rude and maybe even absurd but fear was the only thing that I felt. I was crying so badly and she immediately asked, "Eh Sabreena! Apa awak buat kat sini? Dah nak buka puasa dah." Immediately I replied, "Saya kena tinggal..Akak, boleh tak akak hantar saya kat pusat asasi?" So she said, "mestilah boleh. kesiannya sabreena.."
At that instantaneous moment, all I wanted to do was prostrate to Allah. Subhanallah. I managed to reach the foundation centre on time. Not just that, Allah eased my affair in sitting for my agriculture exam. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. It is true, when we ask, "When is Allah's aid coming to us?" Allah replies, "Indeed my aid is near." Subhanallah.
What did I learn from this?
1. Allah is always there. Always. No matter how "alone" you think you are. Know that you are not, you are never alone
2. Always remember Allah. In both hardship and ease. When we remember Allah in times of ease and happiness, He will definitely remember you in times of hardship
3. Our dependence is always Allah. You will never be sad about anything in this dunya
4. When our intentions are for Allah (seeking knowledge, visiting the sick etc), it is always eased by Allah no matter how much thorns we have to constantly step on
At that instantaneous moment, all I wanted to do was prostrate to Allah. Subhanallah. I managed to reach the foundation centre on time. Not just that, Allah eased my affair in sitting for my agriculture exam. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. It is true, when we ask, "When is Allah's aid coming to us?" Allah replies, "Indeed my aid is near." Subhanallah.
What did I learn from this?
1. Allah is always there. Always. No matter how "alone" you think you are. Know that you are not, you are never alone
2. Always remember Allah. In both hardship and ease. When we remember Allah in times of ease and happiness, He will definitely remember you in times of hardship
3. Our dependence is always Allah. You will never be sad about anything in this dunya
4. When our intentions are for Allah (seeking knowledge, visiting the sick etc), it is always eased by Allah no matter how much thorns we have to constantly step on
Awhh putri. I've been in a similar situation too, and ya Allah it was the most frightening experience ever. I think i told u about it, about the night i was lost ar UIA at 2am in the morning. But anyway, i understand what it felt like to be alone, to be lost from help and dependence except to Allah. What had happened only made me stronger, braver and more trusting of Allah and His aid. I hope you wont need to go through something like that again, but i also know Allah will always be there to protect you no matter what, and alhamdulillah im thankful to Him for that. Take care Putri, i love you fillah.
ReplyDeleteI love you fillah too (':
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