Say NO to maisy' dhanka!

Growing up. It's normal.

I am currently studying physics for tomorrow and suddenly, "Solla Alaikallah" started playing.

*flashing back*

My mum used to sing "Solla Alaikallah" for me and brother every night when we were kids. Her voice was perfect, and I cant help but cry listening to this.

I realized, JUST REALIZED, that my parents are getting older.

So am I.

I remember my mum sang, "nanti bila besar, jadi wanita solehah"

Yes, she altered the song.

I am not sure of what I have become today. I am still confused. Witnessing everyone around me having their imaan boosting...makes me happy.

But, it makes me wonder..

What about my imaan? What about my taqwa?

All I can do right now is improve daily. But..how?

Sometimes, I think to myself, when I feel so down, depressed and not confident, shaitaan definitely takes over. This is when I am in the state of low imaan. I, we, tend to forget Allah is always there.

But...definitely, Allah knows what is in each heart.

I really hope youre getting where Im going here..(:

It could be that Allah want us to feel depressed, through shaitaan, for us to seek Him.

Dont misunderstand me.

So, it is my turn now to fight shaitaan and seek Allah instead of entertaining him.

"Why that feeling O Allah? The feeling of depression..the feeling of low confidence and low self-esteem?", I asked.

Probably because I did boast about my imaan. Imaan is a secret. It is only between me and Allah. Ain't that true?

Yes.

Plus, we will never know the state of our imaan until we are tested.

We could be reading, "bismillah" when sipping a cup of tea..

But we could be cursing and swearing and forgetting Allah once we are tested.

I want to change to the better.

Let's change to the better.